My wish for you is Peace through liberation. Liberation is the concept of empowerment through support and challenge. It is autonomy and authority and responsibility, and it is where growth happens.
It isn’t easy but it doesn’t have to be hard. Let me explain. While none of us naturally live in a place of liberation, if we are aware and intentional, we can grow into it. Typically, we either beat ourselves up (dominate) or totally check out (protect or abdicate). When I started looking at this concept, I realized that my tendency is to dominate myself by saying I need to work harder; if something didn’t end up the way I wanted, I must have done something wrong, and then I get so exhausted that I check out to get a break. Because the “check out” is more of a reaction than an intentional “I’m going to take a break to sharpen my saw”, I felt guilty and then would start pushing myself again. It was an ugly cycle. I had to really think about what liberation might look like for myself. It was hard. Was I supposed to get a massage every month? Was I supposed to go buy myself something? This is something I still work on because my tendency is to bring challenge to myself ALL. THE. TIME. I have some story that if I am not bringing the challenge, I am not working hard enough. But it is a lie. And since it is such a strong voice, I end up bringing it to those around me. (Doesn’t that sound fun to be around!)
What I came to realize is that liberation includes celebrating what I have accomplished (instead of just looking for that next goal to achieve). It includes intentionally making time and building margin into my life so that one of the goals is rest, rejuvenation, and reward (instead of just pushing on the gas to accelerate to the next thing). It includes telling the voice in my head that says I must work hard and work hard all the time “thank you for sharing, but now I am going to work on this puzzle, or have ice cream with my husband, or take a walk with my dogs”. And like any muscle it takes time to build up. The first
time you went the gym, how much did you lift? If you kept going, did that amount increase, did your form improve and did it get easier? It works that way with our brain too. Exercise the muscle that liberates you from domination or abdication. Bring the challenge AND the support to yourself in a gracious loving way; like you would your star pupil. I’m betting you will get better results from yourself, and you will find peace.
My wish for you is peace. One path to that peace is through liberation.